What is failure? Is it measured globally or personally? Sometimes what we think is not real at all and we fall into the dark abyss of incompletion. You’re then faced with one question time and time again: “Why can’t I just do it?”
We are going to explore the possible reasons as to why you may feel incapable of being successful. If this is something you want to explore with us, continue reading.
Perfectionism
Perfectionism is often seen as an essential trait to achieve success. However, it can also lead to impractical high standards and self-defeating thoughts that makes it difficult to achieve your goals.
Most persons who identifies as a perfectionist face anxiety issues, depression, and stress. In the case of more serious mental illnesses, others have to seek psychological help.
Perfectionism can be defined as a need to be perfect and is the unhealthy belief that perfection can be achieved. However, this is not the case.
A perfectionist cannot complete a task unless they know that the end result will imitate perfection. Because of this, these type of perfectionists are not interested in the process and do not learn anything from the process. Other type of perfectionists quite frankly procrastinate, as they do not engage in anything unless they are certain that they can do it perfectly.
And if we were to dig a little deeper, we can also include another type of perfectionist that are so focussed on the details of the process that it takes them a really long time to start the process and executing the relative tasks to meet their goals.
Perfectionism can be seen as a means by which an individual hides their own insecurities of shame, fear of judgement, and fear of receiving blame and rejection. If you identify as a perfectionist then the struggle of meeting your standards may be a reason as to why you just can’t do it.
If you find that you are at a place where you become anxious quite easily and often, increased feelings of depressive symptoms, or is experiencing a high level of stress just to do anything; then it doesn’t hurt to seek professional help.
At this point pride should not be a reason to not seek help, but the fact that you are starting to feel less of yourself should.
Comparisons
In most dictionaries, the term success is often defined as attainment of wealth, positions, respect, fame, and even a person.
While this is a type of success we all want to achieve some day, there is much more to success than a generalised statement.
Success in an individual’s own right can be defined as the prosperous termination of attempts; the accomplishment of one’s goals. In other words, success is a favourable attempt at achieving one’s goals. It is not defined by what others say. It is defined by the goals an individual sets for himself or herself.
Therefore, the continual and unhealthy comparison between two person’s ideas of success will lead to a road block by which it has become difficult to achieve anything. Success is an individual thing and the more it is compared to another, the higher the chance of demotivation and discouragement will be.
If you feel as if you cannot match up to other people’s success, then try not to compare your life with theirs. Remember that every person has their own life, their own desires, their own standards, their own priorities, and their own goals. You cannot achieve success by focussing on a variant that has nothing to do with you and your life.
In essence, what you want to achieve, work towards it. And should you fail, try again. And if you fail again, asking for help may be an option. There are persons who might be aligned to you in such a way you both might achieve each other’s goals helping each other.
Lack of opportunities
how I just do it?
Lack is one of life’s biggest obstacles. Without certain tools, opportunities, and connections, some persons continually fail to meet their goals.
Poverty carries a plethora of disadvantages not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically as well. Not being able to obtain anything because of lack delays progress and demotivates perseverance to try.
The emotional effects of poverty leaves an individual with depression, anxiety, and elevated stress.
Long before executed, the stress and anxiety of acquiring the tools and connections encourages doubt and demotivation. Negative thoughts that shut down potential ideas as to how tools can be acquired are conjured up. Therefore, doubt is ignited as the goal is clear, but the process is not.
Similarly, lack of education creates a much despised barrier between plans and goals. Goals that are dependent on degrees are close to impossible to achieve without a degree.
Although that fact is well known, some are willing to create a plan to earn, then return or start school, then begin the process of achieving that goal.
What may be a stumbling block in this plan, especially if lack of education and poverty are combined, is if the end goal is derived from a place of passion.
The lengthy process might become discouraging due to the psychological effects of lack. In other words, possible sufferings during the lengthy process of acquiring that degree to complete that goal might be the reason you may not be able to do it.
However, finding the source that motivated you is imperative in this case. If the specific goal you want to achieve is your passion then let that fact be your motivation to achieve it.
In addition to that, start networking. Get to know others who are in position to assist where you lack in any way, shape or form. Create a genuine relationship with positive and successful persons in their own right and maintain it.
Disorganised
One of the main reasons for persons to not be able to get anything done is being totally disorganised.
Not all times the reason for not completing a task or tasks towards a goal is psychological.
With that said, strategies are needed to be put in place to create a clear schedule. Discipline is essential and prioritizing makes a difference.
When there are a lot of factors involved it is recommended to prioritize, plan and execute. Prioritize what is urgent, then important, and everything else can follow afterwards.
Anything urgent normally has a deadline and requires full attention. The struggle to get it done can be eased or avoided by micro managing it. This means taking apart one big task and creating smaller tasks to achieve that same big task.
It becomes easier and less stressful when taking baby steps to meet the needs of achieving a goal. This method can be done for important goals and everything else.
If disorganised describes you then all you need is structure and be kind to yourself. Take it one step at a time and you’ll achieve it.
Persistence
It is not uncommon for even the most successful persons to lack persistence in the face of challenges. People who are easily intimidated by challenges do not complete a task or even try.
There are struggles and hardships in possibly every aspect of life. It is important to be willing to accept any challenge that might exist and face them head on. Persistence is key even when it’s hard and it will help to determine the make or break characteristic trait.
It takes work to get anything done and worrying about the ‘what ifs’ will not push you towards anything at all. Earlier, we spoke about external factors that might be affecting chances of success.
But another factor that could be causing you ask the title question could be you, as in yourself. The lack of a persistent attitude and the right mind set can be one of the reasons why you are unable to achieve any goal you desire.
In this case it’s all about changing your mind-set and there are quite a few ways specific to you that might help. Some common ways include: reading books, developing small habits, and coaching.
Once you have identified that you might be the in the way of what you want to achieve, it is recommended that you seek the right methods to change that for the better.
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