It may be painful to fail. You can get traumatized and give up on your goals as a result. You’ll be forced to accept a life that you don’t truly desire.
Because they were never taught how to handle failure, this is the reality for the majority of individuals. They never cultivate the mental habits necessary to persevere in the face of setbacks, which prevents them from ever achieving their goals.
How then does one handle failure? Because you cannot escape it, that much is certain. You will eventually fail, regardless of your goals in terms of health, relationships, or earning money.
What is failure?
For me to identify what have been the most significant failures, I first must identify what a failure is. In my opinion, a failure is simply not having a successful outcome for a planned activity, event, or activity.
Most importantly, a failure is not something that I believe is necessarily a fault of mine. Failures occur when your planned activities or events do not pan out as planned.
My life has been an awesomely beautiful cataclysmic event and still going. I have experienced pain, joy, heartache, and a wide range of emotions and experiences. Life’s very nature is surrounded by uncertainty and me being the avid planner that I am.
I have planned as many activities as possible and things that I could. Eventually, I had to experience failures along the way that molded me into the rare gem that I am.
What does failure cause you to do?
1. You’ll give up if you fail.
If you don’t deal with failure properly, it will cause you to give up on your goals. Every person who is currently unhappy previously had hopes and dreams. They were driven, ambitious, and willing to put in the effort. They regarded themselves as being created for greater things. They aimed to influence the world in some way.
2. You won’t learn the important lessons.
Does a baby who is learning to walk become upset when they fall? Is he going to give up and say it’s not for me? No, it picks itself up after falling. The emphasis is on responding to criticism, such as “Maybe don’t lean so much to the left… don’t take lengthy steps… oh my balance is wrong… so on.” To obtain the whole image, it must fall again.
3. Only by doing so can one prosper.
If you can’t accept failure, you don’t deserve the success you seek if you keep looking for a fast fix because you are afraid to fail. The world is not an absurd place where anything is possible without any effort.
Your objectives call for a certain effort and sacrifice. You will know when you are on the correct path when you are willing to work hard and wait. And that’s the direction I want to take you in your mind with this piece.
4. Your path is satisfying because of failure.
Think about seeing a film without a hero’s journey. An entertaining film with a happy ending when nothing goes wrong. Are you interested in seeing that? Considering I wouldn’t. Your life is the same way. If failure is viewed in the right light, it may transform your life into a tale worth telling.
Types of Failures
One of the very first failures I experienced that I could remember was as a child I had my heart set on a beautiful chocolate skin fiesta doll that looked like me. I pestered my father for this doll endlessly.
Every time we went to the bookstore, I made it my point of duty to take my dad to the section of the store and show him my doll. Not the doll I wanted. It was MY doll. I took all of my family to the bookstore to show them my doll and to get universal stakeholder buy-in.
Mind you I was only five or eight years old at the time, however, I had an uncanny appreciation for follow-through and for having my plans executed seamlessly.
Eventually, Christmas came, and my dream came true. I got MY doll. This was the most exciting moment of my life I hugged her so tight and combed her hair, slept with her, ate with her at my dining room table, and even took a shower with her.
I was in ultimate bliss. It was a heavenly twenty-four hours with my beauty that looked like me. She was a lot slimmer than I was and her hair was longer and shinier than mine but that was beside the point she looked like me. She had my skin, my smile, and my African features. That very fact was enough for me to love her to bits. I was in heaven until about two or three days after getting her I noticed she was missing.
All the alarms went off in my little body. I could feel my body getting hot with rage. I screamed as if in pain, “Mommy! Fiesta is gone!”. As you can imagine, this shocked my entire household as my doll was everywhere with me.
I called in the head of Criminal Investigation and Unseen Happenings for my house i.e., Mommy, and the Assistant Commissioner for Criminal Investigation and Unseen Happenings i.e. my brother.
An investigation was launched, and the cadaver dogs were brought in to ascertain the whereabouts of Fiesta as she had been missing for more than an hour. I paced anxiously as my entire family searched inside the home and outside. Suddenly there was a shout, “I found it!”.
I was so relieved; Fiesta was taken by one of my dogs into the nearby bushes of my yard and her hand chewed on.
I realized that in life you can plan seamlessly but there will always be events or situations that you cannot perfectly plan for.
I learned at this time that it is always good to have solid support so that when plans begin to falter, and failure is apparent you will have a team of experts that will help cushion the blow of the failure.
A significant failure in my adult life was that of employment. I attended a great University and graduated with a BSc. In International Relations and Spanish/Core Courses in Economics coupled with work experience as I worked every public holiday.
I was armed and ready for the world of work. However, it seems, that the world of work was not ready for me. My first job was at Air Jamaica Reservations, and I landed this job as I had worked with this organization every public holiday, whether in Montego Bay or not.
Once I completed my degree it was only fitting, I worked with them. However, I had different plans. I had planned to stay in Kingston and find gainful employment, rent a flat and buy a car about a year after employment.
This was the dream for us new graduates. I was sorely disappointed after a month or so of seeking employment and failure hitting me in the face. It was either, I was not the physical match for the role, or my degree was not the right fit. It was frustrating.
Air Jamaica sent me an offer of full-time employment amid my frustration, and I accepted. After nearly two years of working full-time, my role as Reservations and Ticketing Agent was made redundant.
This was extremely shocking to many of us but for me, I saw this as a new beginning to take on a new challenge. For the next ten years to come it was a challenge after challenge situation, with companies closing their doors and contracts ending. I have been on a journey since the redundancy exercise at Air Jamaica to find my perfect job.
This has been a tireless search. I have moved heaven and earth traveling between Montego Bay and Kingston to find my forever job. This is seen as a failure simply because despite my best efforts I have not been able to achieve success.
For me, there is a greater lesson than failure here. Being able to earn without boundaries is crucial to human existence and I want to enjoy this right exclusively. In response to wanting to live the life I want, I have begun the building of my empire. I will ensure that no one gets to say how and when I earn during my professional journey.
There is no such thing as a perfect job. I have learned that you may spend a lifetime seeking the perfect job to improve one organization after another, but you may never truly enjoy the fulfillment you desire while working for someone else. I have learned that it is more profitable to build your empire rather than build someone else’s.
Failure won’t affect you as much if you can find enjoyment and significance in the process. mostly because you are enjoying the process itself.
Look for methods to make your work more pleasurable and straightforward. Failure will only destroy you if you want the outcome to be joyful. But what if the procedure brought you joy?
Then, what would happen? Because you have discovered purpose, success or failure won’t matter.